Steve Jobs is dead. Well, we all die, so this isn't totally unexpected. I'm digging the Ipod that he brought to market; the Iphone revolutionized the whole smartphone industry, as did the Ipod for music and the Ipad for tablet computing. Everyone and their brother is posting a tribute to Jobs on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. Everyone except me. I shan't be doing that.
But it does bring up an interesting question, and to get to that question I'm going to tell a story. This happened to a friend of mine, and I hope I get all the details straight, but I'm likely to screw it up. But here's the gist. A kid's father dies. Or mother, I don't know. On the playground one kid after another starts crying. Except my buddy. Finally a kid yells at him, "Why aren't you crying?"
Why should he? It wasn't his father, or mother. It's always a nice thing to mourn with those who mourn, but if you don't, it isn't the end of the world. Especially if you didn't know the person in question.
And here's the question. Why do people publically mourn for those they never knew? A soldier dies, and people close their businesses and line the streets so they can wave a flag as a hearse passes by. A child dies, and a thousand people attend the memorial service. A child goes missing, and the whole community mobilizes. Of course, when a black child goes missing, no one seems to give a shit.
"In a close-knit community, people look out for each other. They care about each other." OK, I can get behind that. But a city of 50,000 population isn't a close-knit community. I am going to propose that many times, indeed most times, when people do the public mourning thing they are doing it not because they care, but because they want to be seen caring. There is a difference.
When you care, you do something practical, and not always for public consumption. If a child dies in my town, and I didn't know the child, or the parents, or the grandparents, I have no place showing up at that funeral. Let the family and friends mourn. A funeral is not a photo-op. But people feel the incessant need to make themselves a part of whatever story is making the rounds. If they are seen at the event, that means they care, right? But showing up at a service is too easy. Waving a flag for a dead soldier or putting a bumper sticker on your car means nothing. If you want to show that you care, really show it, then take a meal to the widow. Offer to mow her lawn. Get her car tuned up. If a family loses a child, drop them a gift card for somewhere. Send flowers. Donate money to a cancer charity if that's how they died. But don't create t-shirts or declare it "wear plaid shirts for Johnny Joe day" or something equally inane, because that doesn't mean shit. You are doing it to make yourself feel better, you aren't doing it because it does something practical for the family, because it does not.
The passing of Steve Jobs is sad. The passing of your next door neighbor is also sad.
And yes, I am aware that I've talked about doing things for show twice now. Maybe because we Americans are so damn good at it.
---The Man
Showing posts with label troops. Show all posts
Showing posts with label troops. Show all posts
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Knee Jerk
Apparently yesterday was Blue Shirt Day. Did anyone realize this? Wear a blue shirt to promote awareness of bullying, or some other load of crap like that. Somehow I think that a kid being bullied would rather you stuff your blue shirt up your ass and actually do something, like maybe, umm, I don't know.. help the kid? Step in while he or she is being bullied and say "Hey! Leave this kid the hell alone!" I know when I was being bullied in junior high and high school that's what I was looking for. Of course, I wasn't being bullied for being gay, so it probably didn't count.
Yeah, that's right, I said it. The issue of bullying didn't come to the forefront until it was gay kids getting bullied. And let's get one thing straight (pardon the pun), bullying a kid for being gay is as much bullshit as bullying a kid for being fat, ugly, or a fan of the wrong rock bands. It isn't homophobia that is my problem here. It is the knee-jerk reactions people display when the media is riding a hobby horse.
"We support the troops!" OK, let's take that one on. How do you support the troops? Do you have a bumper sticker on your car? How exactly does that support the troops? Seriously. That does nothing practical to support the troops. Oh, it might make the driver of the car feel good, feel like they are a part of something, but if I were an Army man I would look at that bumper sticker and say "You know, if you want to support the troops, go mow my wife's lawn when I go on my third tour of duty in Afghanistan. Babysit my kids so my wife can get a breather." The only people that are supported by your bumper sticker are the people that make the damn things.
"But it generates awareness. Anything that can get people talking about important issues isn't a bad thing." Wrong. Might not be a bad thing, but it might very well be a useless thing. Is anyone not aware of the troops overseas? There cannot be one person in this country that doesn't know we are in an endless war in Afghanistan, and still have troops in Iraq. If the yellow ribbons and bumper stickers were for awareness, mission accomplished (to borrow a phrase). We're aware.
It isn't about awareness. It's about Vietnam guilt. You see, the troops returning from Vietnam were treated like shit. And that was deplorable. But because of that we have swung in the other direction. Now I'm supposed to thank a soldier, or a fireman, or a policeman every time I see one. None of these people are thanking the cops that just gave them a ticket, but whatever. Thank the service people because they died for our sins. Kiss the collective ass of the military because they put their lives on the line for YOU.
I am going to propose that this incessant thanking isn't genuine. It isn't about being grateful for soldiers or firefighters or cops, it is all about BEING SEEN being grateful for soldiers, or firefighters, or cops. Two different things. BEING SEEN caring is a painless substitute for actually doing something concrete. Why do people flock to funerals for kids they don't know? They want to be seen. Why do people flock to Ground Zero? They want to be seen. The tragedies of life become one big photo op.
How does anyone not see that people are using the images of the military to prey on people's emotions to sell a product? "At First Central National Bank, we believe in the values of the military. And those values extend beyond the battlefield. We embrace those values..." and then it becomes a commercial for their bank, not a support for the values of the military. How do people not see through this?
One challenge for the "support the troops, thank the vets, blah blah blah" people. Next Veteran's Day forego the free Golden Corral dinner, forget the parade, don't bother painting your car with the flag. Get in said car and drive down to your local nursing care or assisted living facility. Take a handful of flags with you, and visit an elderly veteran. Give them a flag and thank them. It might be the only visit they have all week. It would be something concrete. But it requires effort.
Dump the awareness campaigns. We are aware that breast cancer is bad. There isn't anyone out there saying "Breast cancer? Hooray!" We know it's evil. So quit using the pink ribbon to sell candy and soda pop. If big companies want to see that the Susan Komen people get some money, then give them some money. Here's a better idea. Dump the pink ribbon altogether, because MEN GET BREAST CANCER TOO. But no one gives a shit about the men getting breast cancer. Pink is all over everything. The commercials feature women exclusively. Brochures are published telling women how to examine themselves. Are you a man worried that you might have breast cancer? Well, apparently you can just go sit in a corner and die. No one is interested in saving your ta-ta's.
OK, I'm a judgmental asshole. What am I actually doing? Well, quite frankly, none of your damn business. I have given to Susam Komen walkers. I have given to veteran's causes. But I don't do it to be seen. I don't give a shit if my picture is ever in the paper for supporting a cause. And you shouldn't either.
---The Man
Yeah, that's right, I said it. The issue of bullying didn't come to the forefront until it was gay kids getting bullied. And let's get one thing straight (pardon the pun), bullying a kid for being gay is as much bullshit as bullying a kid for being fat, ugly, or a fan of the wrong rock bands. It isn't homophobia that is my problem here. It is the knee-jerk reactions people display when the media is riding a hobby horse.
"We support the troops!" OK, let's take that one on. How do you support the troops? Do you have a bumper sticker on your car? How exactly does that support the troops? Seriously. That does nothing practical to support the troops. Oh, it might make the driver of the car feel good, feel like they are a part of something, but if I were an Army man I would look at that bumper sticker and say "You know, if you want to support the troops, go mow my wife's lawn when I go on my third tour of duty in Afghanistan. Babysit my kids so my wife can get a breather." The only people that are supported by your bumper sticker are the people that make the damn things.
"But it generates awareness. Anything that can get people talking about important issues isn't a bad thing." Wrong. Might not be a bad thing, but it might very well be a useless thing. Is anyone not aware of the troops overseas? There cannot be one person in this country that doesn't know we are in an endless war in Afghanistan, and still have troops in Iraq. If the yellow ribbons and bumper stickers were for awareness, mission accomplished (to borrow a phrase). We're aware.
It isn't about awareness. It's about Vietnam guilt. You see, the troops returning from Vietnam were treated like shit. And that was deplorable. But because of that we have swung in the other direction. Now I'm supposed to thank a soldier, or a fireman, or a policeman every time I see one. None of these people are thanking the cops that just gave them a ticket, but whatever. Thank the service people because they died for our sins. Kiss the collective ass of the military because they put their lives on the line for YOU.
I am going to propose that this incessant thanking isn't genuine. It isn't about being grateful for soldiers or firefighters or cops, it is all about BEING SEEN being grateful for soldiers, or firefighters, or cops. Two different things. BEING SEEN caring is a painless substitute for actually doing something concrete. Why do people flock to funerals for kids they don't know? They want to be seen. Why do people flock to Ground Zero? They want to be seen. The tragedies of life become one big photo op.
How does anyone not see that people are using the images of the military to prey on people's emotions to sell a product? "At First Central National Bank, we believe in the values of the military. And those values extend beyond the battlefield. We embrace those values..." and then it becomes a commercial for their bank, not a support for the values of the military. How do people not see through this?
One challenge for the "support the troops, thank the vets, blah blah blah" people. Next Veteran's Day forego the free Golden Corral dinner, forget the parade, don't bother painting your car with the flag. Get in said car and drive down to your local nursing care or assisted living facility. Take a handful of flags with you, and visit an elderly veteran. Give them a flag and thank them. It might be the only visit they have all week. It would be something concrete. But it requires effort.
Dump the awareness campaigns. We are aware that breast cancer is bad. There isn't anyone out there saying "Breast cancer? Hooray!" We know it's evil. So quit using the pink ribbon to sell candy and soda pop. If big companies want to see that the Susan Komen people get some money, then give them some money. Here's a better idea. Dump the pink ribbon altogether, because MEN GET BREAST CANCER TOO. But no one gives a shit about the men getting breast cancer. Pink is all over everything. The commercials feature women exclusively. Brochures are published telling women how to examine themselves. Are you a man worried that you might have breast cancer? Well, apparently you can just go sit in a corner and die. No one is interested in saving your ta-ta's.
OK, I'm a judgmental asshole. What am I actually doing? Well, quite frankly, none of your damn business. I have given to Susam Komen walkers. I have given to veteran's causes. But I don't do it to be seen. I don't give a shit if my picture is ever in the paper for supporting a cause. And you shouldn't either.
---The Man
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)