Sincere gestures/stupid gestures

"We're talking about sincere gestures," Jenny said.
"We're talking about stupid gestures," Garp said.

You cannot go a day anymore without hearing about bullying. Every day someone waves the flag of some kid who was bullied and committed suicide. Teen suicide is a very sad thing. But the anti-bullying cause is always connected to some LGBTQMOUSE cause, as if the only kids being bullied are the gay ones. If you are fat, like the wrong rock band or like the same boy the head cheerleader likes, no one gives a damn. No one is doing a public service announcement for you. Lady Gaga isn't imploring the world that you are who you are because you were born that way. Your suffering apparently doesn't count.

And the solution? Wear a purple T-shirt on the appointed day, a day decided upon by gay people and not fat people, and that will show the world that bullying is bad. Or at least it will show the world how much YOU care.

Maybe you turned on the TV last night and immediately saw pink. No, you aren't catching an infectious disease. "Think pink!" "Save the ta-ta's!" "Bowling for boobies!" Any one of a number of slogans accompany the ever-present pink ribbon which states to the world that BREAST CANCER IS BAD! As if there is anyone out there who hears the words "breast cancer" and thinks "someone is going to die horribly? Hooray!" Really, is there anyone out there who thinks that breast cancer is a good thing? OK, then why this incessant insistence on awareness campaigns?

As I write this, I am thinking about some friends of mine. I've known the husband for some time, his wife not so much. His wife has breast cancer. It is in remission now, but they experienced hell on earth during treatment and some time after. And they wear pink. Often. They have dove into the Susan G. Komen movement big-time, and for good reason. If you were in their position, would you not just dye your whole frigging body pink and do all you could to raise money for research in order to cure this horrible disease? Of course you would. How would my wearing of pink affect the horrible statistics of cancer? Unless I was giving some money at the same time, not a damn thing.

But let me ask you a question, one no one has the balls to ask, but I'm pretty stupid so I'll ask it anyway. What do Peter Criss, Rod Roddy and Richard Roundtree all have in common? They all have had breast cancer (Rod Roddy died in 2003), and they are all men. Did you know that men can get breast cancer too? Of course not. All you see is pink everywhere. If a man gets breast cancer, they can just go sit in the corner and die, apparently. You don't see men in the commercials, you don't see brochures explaining to men how they can check themselves and how they would even know what they were feeling for, it's pink everywhere. Granted, it is rare, taking the lives of about 500 men every year, as opposed to 39,000 women every year. Not even close. But I'm sure the wives and children of these men would still think that their father/husband's life is none the less valuable.

"We support the troops!" We hear this mantra proclaimed everywhere, from churches to city halls, from newspapers to websites- but what does it mean? What does a sticker-laden bumper on my car actually do, besides making the sticker makers rich? How does retweeting a troops tweet or posting a particularly patriotic picture on our Facebook status do anything at all for Private Joe P. Dumfuque from BFE? Answer: NOTHING AT ALL.

We have fooled ourselves into thinking that these gestures actually mean something. But my wearing a purple shirt doesn't keep the gay kid from getting his ass kicked. My wearing a pink shirt doesn't keep a family from grieving. My wearing a flag shirt doesn't keep Corporal Josephine Dipsheit from getting her ass handed to her by Afghani fighters.

UNLESS...

...we actually DO something. Give $50 bucks to someone wanting to do the 3-Day Walk for the Cure. Change the oil on the car of a women waiting for her husband to return from Iraq. Buy dinner for a man waiting for his wife to return from Afghanistan. If you are a high school student and you see a kid getting bullied, no matter what the cost, step in between the bully and her victim.

Don't just wear the shirt, bear the hurt.

(and no, you can't have that one, it's mine)